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Navigating The Seasons of Grief

Navigating The Seasons of Grief

Caleb’s 18th birthday was a big celebration at a city pool with 50 of his closest friends and family, all his favorite snacks (Oreos, Skittles, Dr. Pepper) and some amazingly decorated Marvel cupcakes!  Great pictures were taken and a lot of fun was had! There was...

10 Things That (Still) Make Me Smile

10 Things That (Still) Make Me Smile

        10 Things That (Still) Make Me Smile1.  Caleb’s Snapchat When I was able to get access to Caleb’s iCloud, I saw that he saved many of his Snapchat photos and videos. There are times when I smile, cry or laugh and sometimes, I do all 3.  Here are few that...

10 Things That (Still) Make Me Sad

10 Things That (Still) Make Me Sad

      10 Things That (Still) Make Me SadI was going to begin this post with an explanation about why I'm still sad but after thinking on it for a few days, I realized this post needs no introduction at all.  What I think is sad is that I, and grievers in general, feel...

Reflections From My 2021 Word Of The Year: Balance

Reflections From My 2021 Word Of The Year: Balance

New Year's Resolutions aren’t really my thing and I’ve picked a Word of the Year before but didn’t end up seeing it through.  Throughout 2020 I felt very off balance, as I’m sure much of the human race did as well.  Grief, trauma, the pandemic, moving to a new house...

Trust Without Borders

Trust Without Borders

Trust Without Borders   I was recently invited by a teacher friend of mine to share Caleb’s story with his students for their Wellness Unit on depression and suicide.  I was invited last year as well, but gracefully declined because I wasn’t ready.  This year I...

You Pave The Way For Me

You Pave The Way For Me

I could look up the exact time I texted my friend “911” after she didn’t answer my call on Monday, August 12, 2019, but I can’t bring myself to see the actual time this nightmare started.  Since the evening hours of that horrific day, many people have had a hand in...

Rest Or Distress.

Rest Or Distress.

Rest   On Sunday May 23, 2021, I was at a bereaved parent’s retreat in Franklin, Tennessee and seated in a circle with with 14 other married couples who have experienced the death of a child.  In my hands I held a handout titled “Worship & The Word” that...

You Don’t Want To Be Me

You Don’t Want To Be Me

If you are new to my Blog, please click here to read about my son Caleb: http://www.ajourneyforcaleb.org/caleb     You Don't Want To Be Me   I’m writing to you from the deepest, darkest pit a human could ever be in.  The pit of despair, devastation and the...

Where Is God In Suicide?

Where Is God In Suicide?

This is an account of my experience, my journey and my faith since the tragic evening of August 12, 2019, when my loving 17 year old son died by suicide.  I whole-heartedly trusted God before that day, but could I trust Him still? I’m looking over my shoulder at the...

700 Days: Healing After Child Loss

700 Days: Healing After Child Loss

This blog post was not planned.  I typically start writing a post months or weeks in advance and edit it 100 times before publishing it, but the urge was strong for me to get my thoughts and feelings about this one posted today.  There’s something to be said about...

Growing Through Grief

Growing Through Grief

When the – “That only happens to other people” – happened to me and no-one handed me a “What to do when Caleb dies handbook,” all I wanted to do was go to sleep and never wake up again.  Unimaginable heartache and unanswerable questions about my son’s suicide took over my life.  In this post I share how I’ve grown through grief and how I’ve been able to “go on” in life since that tragic Monday night.

Standing Tall Through It All

Standing Tall Through It All

Standing Tall Through It All   I love Lighthouses! They really are fascinating to me.  Their purpose and how they’re always situated just off the coastline to safely bring ships to shore, resonates with me so deeply.  They stand strong in the midst of a storm and...

Capturing Our Family Again, Including Caleb

Capturing Our Family Again, Including Caleb

Capturing Our Family Again, Including Caleb       This was a big opportunity to show my girls that when I say they are worth it, I mean it.  Our most recent family photos were taken in 2018 and we typically have them done every 1-2 years.  When we...

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