A Journey for Caleb
Welcome to my Blog – here I share my journey through grief after the untimely and devastating death of my firstborn child and only son on August 12, 2019. My journey through parenting two daughters in the wake of tragedy and how I’m reinventing my purpose during unavoidable suffering. With faith, hope and courage, I share how I’m rebuilding my life, healing and processing the pain of child loss.
From The Blog
Reflections From My 2022 Word Of The Year: Build
A look into the year I built in 2022: Surviving my son’s suicide.
Finding Good Within The Bad: 5 Unlikely Things I’m Thankful For
Finding and living in the balance of grief and gratitude does not come naturally. It is a state of heart and mind learned only through suffering, sorrow and experience. This is my 4th Thanksgiving without my son since he died on August 12, 2019. Thanksgiving was my...
Working Through Guilt, Blame & Regrets
When the words "I love you" left my lips as I looked at my son for the last time, I had no idea the thought of ending his life had crept into his mind. Our last conversation was about a stupid E-Cigarette that I was sure we would continue when I returned home that...
From Nothing Into Something
If you know me or have been following me for awhile, it’s not news to you that I learn a lot from Nature. Nature speaks to me, teaches me and a lot of times it is my heart’s remedy on difficult days. After the last Spring frost, which was the end of April in 2022, I...
Navigating The Seasons of Grief
Caleb’s 18th birthday was a big celebration at a city pool with 50 of his closest friends and family, all his favorite snacks (Oreos, Skittles, Dr. Pepper) and some amazingly decorated Marvel cupcakes! Great pictures were taken and a lot of fun was had! There was...
1,000 Days A Bereaved Mother: What’s Saving My Life Right Now?
It’s so easy to name what’s killing us and we mention it all the time…My back is killing me, this job is killing me, these kids are killing me right now and so on. We don’t typically bring up in conversation what’s saving our life right now. This topic intrigued me...
Peace, Is It Possible?
In this season of Lent my spirit has been drawn to the word “Peace” over and over again and as we approach Easter, I want to take a few minutes to share what my heart, mind and spirit have been going through. Peace, Is It Possible? When my entire world crashed,...
10 Things That (Still) Make Me Smile
10 Things That (Still) Make Me Smile1. Caleb’s Snapchat When I was able to get access to Caleb’s iCloud, I saw that he saved many of his Snapchat photos and videos. There are times when I smile, cry or laugh and sometimes, I do all 3. Here are few that...
10 Things That (Still) Make Me Sad
10 Things That (Still) Make Me SadI was going to begin this post with an explanation about why I'm still sad but after thinking on it for a few days, I realized this post needs no introduction at all. What I think is sad is that I, and grievers in general, feel...
Wandering Through The Wilderness Of Woe
Wandering Through The Wilderness Of WoeMaybe, at some point in your life, you've found yourself or your family suddenly thrust into what feels like the wilderness. You know your life is forever changed, but you're not sure at all what that change will look like and...
“Going back is not an option. I know I must find my way forward. How do I do that when my loss is so devastating and grief is so heavy? I wake up each day and do my best to put one foot in front of the other and do the next right thing while leaving everything I don’t know, to the One who knows it all. Is this easy? Not in the least! The grief, pain and sadness is suffocating, but breath by breath and step by step I’m learning how to live in the balance of mourning and living, despair and joy and grief and gratitude.”
– Chrisy Slate
Joe just know you and your family is loved. The family you have is amazingly beautiful. I love you all so much and Caleb will live on through you all forever.
Well, I’m so proud of you and excited to read all about this journey. My heart aches for all you’ve been through and all you’ve lost, but at the same time, I’m cheering for you as you relentlessly move forward to use every joy and every pain to bring glory to Jesus. I wish I had known Caleb and I’m thankful, that through you, I can know him now. He will continue to live through all of you and his life is certainly honored through all of you. All my love. ❤️
Thank you, Heather
I love you & your precious family. So excited about this website.
Thank you, xoxo
Want you to know that you and your family are in my prayers
I listened to your podcasts today both of them. They meant so much to me as I lost my 23 year old daughter Abbie March 2, 2021. She was like your son in that she had no outward signs of depression had spent the morning working, texting me and her friends and even made plans to get together with me for an exercise class at 5 that night. Your words and encouragement helped me a lot. I have learned to trust my faith and depend on friends and family to get through this nightmare. Thanks for sharing your experience.
Becky, I’m sorry that you now know this devastating pain and heartache. Thanking you for reaching out and for your kind words and encouragement. My heart and prayers are with you as you navigate the difficult days of grief.