A Journey for Caleb

Welcome to my Blog – here I share my journey through grief after the untimely and devastating death of my firstborn child and only son on August 12, 2019. My journey through parenting two daughters in the wake of tragedy and how I’m reinventing my purpose during unavoidable suffering.  With faith, hope and courage, I share how I’m rebuilding my life, healing and processing the pain of child loss. 

From The Blog

YOU Are A Big Deal Around Here!

YOU Are A Big Deal Around Here!

If you’re a living, breathing human you don’t need to know the actual statistic to know that a lot of people attempt or die from suicide every minute of every day.  You also don't have to have lost someone you know to suicide to “know” the pain and devastation that it...

Surviving The Holidays After Child Loss

Surviving The Holidays After Child Loss

As I endure the second holiday season without my oldest child, I wanted to share about my experience last year.  Thanksgiving came just 3 1/2 months after he died, and all I wanted to do was crawl in a hole and hide until the season was over.  In November and December...

How Do I Live Without You?

How Do I Live Without You?

A few days ago I made it through the 450th day as a bereaved mother, the day I took this photo.  If I’m going to share how much pain I’m in, I might as well show it.  I came home from a hard day and went straight to my deck.  I needed to clear my head, feel the fresh...

Holding on and Letting Go

Holding on and Letting Go

While this post is about how I have held onto and let go of my son’s tangible things, It’s also about how I’ve held on and let go emotionally.  There is a strong pull in my heart and a choice I have to make daily, do I want to stay stuck in the past with Caleb or go...

My Heart On The Outside

My Heart On The Outside

I Love You More On November 19, 2019, I walked into a tattoo parlor to get my first tattoo.  I wanted a tribute to my son whom I could no longer physically share with the world.  I wanted a conversation starter, so that I could tell people who Caleb is when they asked...

My Dearest Caleb…

My Dearest Caleb…

I’ve really struggled with whether or not I wanted to share this letter.  I’ve been writing it on and off for about eight months.  My therapist suggested early on that I write Caleb two letters, one for what I would say when I got home that night and we continued our...

Broken Heart, Faithful Prayer

Broken Heart, Faithful Prayer

Feeling destroyed but hopeful, I prayed for God to give me a sign that he sees me, that he can hear me, that he knows I'm suffering and that he is with me.  It was October 21, 2019, the 70th day since Caleb had died and I prayed specifically for him to send me signs...

A Letter to Myself

A Letter to Myself

Dear mom who did everything right but your child died anyway, I watched you on Sunday, August 18, 2019, trembling as you locked the front door that evening.  It was the first night you would sleep in your house in seven days.  You didn’t want to lock the door because...

A one-in-a-million Brotherhood

A one-in-a-million Brotherhood

As Caleb was growing up, I often prayed for positive, encouraging and loyal friends to be in his life. Being a military family we moved every 2-3 years and the kids were always forced to make new friends.  To his benefit, he wasn’t shy, he was friendly, outgoing and...

The Forgotten Mourners

The Forgotten Mourners

After Caleb died I was so consumed with grief and suffering that I could not see the pain and heartbreak that these two were feeling. I couldn’t be a mom to them...I spent weeks on the couch lost in sorrow with boxes of tissues. I’m thankful for friends and family who...

“Going back is not an option.   I know I must find my way forward.  How do I do that when my loss is so devastating and grief is so heavy?  I wake up each day and do my best to put one foot in front of the other and do the next right thing while leaving everything I don’t know, to the One who knows it all. Is this easy? Not in the least! The grief, pain and sadness is suffocating, but breath by breath and step by step I’m learning how to live in the balance of mourning and living, despair and joy and grief and gratitude.”

– Chrisy Slate

10 Comments

  1. Lisa jordan

    Joe just know you and your family is loved. The family you have is amazingly beautiful. I love you all so much and Caleb will live on through you all forever.

    Reply
    • Chrisy Slate

      Thank you

      Reply
  2. Heather Fullington

    Well, I’m so proud of you and excited to read all about this journey. My heart aches for all you’ve been through and all you’ve lost, but at the same time, I’m cheering for you as you relentlessly move forward to use every joy and every pain to bring glory to Jesus. I wish I had known Caleb and I’m thankful, that through you, I can know him now. He will continue to live through all of you and his life is certainly honored through all of you. All my love. ❤️

    Reply
    • Chrisy Slate

      Thank you, Heather

      Reply
  3. Marla

    I love you & your precious family. So excited about this website.

    Reply
    • Chrisy Slate

      Thank you, xoxo

      Reply
  4. Ann kish

    Want you to know that you and your family are in my prayers

    Reply
    • Chrisy Slate

      Thank you

      Reply
  5. Becky

    I listened to your podcasts today both of them. They meant so much to me as I lost my 23 year old daughter Abbie March 2, 2021. She was like your son in that she had no outward signs of depression had spent the morning working, texting me and her friends and even made plans to get together with me for an exercise class at 5 that night. Your words and encouragement helped me a lot. I have learned to trust my faith and depend on friends and family to get through this nightmare. Thanks for sharing your experience.

    Reply
    • Chrisy Slate

      Becky, I’m sorry that you now know this devastating pain and heartache. Thanking you for reaching out and for your kind words and encouragement. My heart and prayers are with you as you navigate the difficult days of grief.

      Reply

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