A Journey for Caleb
Welcome to my Blog – here I share my journey through grief after the untimely and devastating death of my firstborn child and only son on August 12, 2019. My journey through parenting two daughters in the wake of tragedy and how I’m reinventing my purpose during unavoidable suffering. With faith, hope and courage, I share how I’m rebuilding my life, healing and processing the pain of child loss.
From The Blog
Where Is God In Suicide?
This is an account of my experience, my journey and my faith since the tragic evening of August 12, 2019, when my loving 17 year old son died by suicide. I whole-heartedly trusted God before that day, but could I trust Him still? I’m looking over my shoulder at the...
700 Days: Healing After Child Loss
This blog post was not planned. I typically start writing a post months or weeks in advance and edit it 100 times before publishing it, but the urge was strong for me to get my thoughts and feelings about this one posted today. There’s something to be said about...
Growing Through Grief
When the – “That only happens to other people” – happened to me and no-one handed me a “What to do when Caleb dies handbook,” all I wanted to do was go to sleep and never wake up again. Unimaginable heartache and unanswerable questions about my son’s suicide took over my life. In this post I share how I’ve grown through grief and how I’ve been able to “go on” in life since that tragic Monday night.
Standing Tall Through It All
Standing Tall Through It All I love Lighthouses! They really are fascinating to me. Their purpose and how they’re always situated just off the coastline to safely bring ships to shore, resonates with me so deeply. They stand strong in the midst of a storm and...
Capturing Our Family Again, Including Caleb
Capturing Our Family Again, Including Caleb This was a big opportunity to show my girls that when I say they are worth it, I mean it. Our most recent family photos were taken in 2018 and we typically have them done every 1-2 years. When we...
Saturday Hurts
For a few weeks I have been hoping and praying to have some revival in my heart this Easter weekend. I'm seeing a lot of posts and emails about Holy Saturday, so I thought I'd clip a few and share them in a post today, Saturday, the in-between day, the...
Moving After Child Loss
I'm starting this post with my original post to Facebook the day we moved one year ago, and I will end it with a current update and some photos. Moving After Child Loss March 31, 2020 - Facebook This post is emotional, raw and heartbreaking. I’m writing...
That First Family Vacation After Child Loss
Our first vacation as a family of 4 was a much needed getaway and experience for all of us. I came home with a fresh perspective and a shift in grief. I saw that my life may be full of a lot of grief, pain and sadness, but it can also be full of life, energy,...
18 Months Without Caleb: The Cornerstone
18 Months Without Caleb: The Cornerstone On February 12, 2021, the 18 month anniversary since Caleb went to Heaven, my husband and I drove 6 hours to Barry, Illinois to attend a ‘While We’re Waiting’ retreat for bereaved parents. While I was desperately...
My ABC’s of Coping With – and Moving Through – Trauma and Grief
A storm came, went and left me with an unrecognizable life. When tragedy struck out of nowhere, I wasn’t given a handbook on what comes next. The natural responses of panic, shock, numbness, confusion, sadness, depression, anxiety and fatigue, took over every part...
“Going back is not an option. I know I must find my way forward. How do I do that when my loss is so devastating and grief is so heavy? I wake up each day and do my best to put one foot in front of the other and do the next right thing while leaving everything I don’t know, to the One who knows it all. Is this easy? Not in the least! The grief, pain and sadness is suffocating, but breath by breath and step by step I’m learning how to live in the balance of mourning and living, despair and joy and grief and gratitude.”
– Chrisy Slate
Joe just know you and your family is loved. The family you have is amazingly beautiful. I love you all so much and Caleb will live on through you all forever.
Thank you
Well, I’m so proud of you and excited to read all about this journey. My heart aches for all you’ve been through and all you’ve lost, but at the same time, I’m cheering for you as you relentlessly move forward to use every joy and every pain to bring glory to Jesus. I wish I had known Caleb and I’m thankful, that through you, I can know him now. He will continue to live through all of you and his life is certainly honored through all of you. All my love. ❤️
Thank you, Heather
I love you & your precious family. So excited about this website.
Thank you, xoxo
Want you to know that you and your family are in my prayers
Thank you
I listened to your podcasts today both of them. They meant so much to me as I lost my 23 year old daughter Abbie March 2, 2021. She was like your son in that she had no outward signs of depression had spent the morning working, texting me and her friends and even made plans to get together with me for an exercise class at 5 that night. Your words and encouragement helped me a lot. I have learned to trust my faith and depend on friends and family to get through this nightmare. Thanks for sharing your experience.
Becky, I’m sorry that you now know this devastating pain and heartache. Thanking you for reaching out and for your kind words and encouragement. My heart and prayers are with you as you navigate the difficult days of grief.
I came across your blog while searching for other mothers who have lost their child. I lost my 27 year old son to gun violence on 7/10/2021. Your encouraging words have helped me along this painful journey of grief and pain. I thank you for sharing your experience!