Reflections From My 2023 Words of the Year: Peace & Calm

 

You might think I choose my word of the year at the beginning of the year, but it actually comes to me as the year begins to wind down.  Naturally, the end the of the year is a time of reflection as we look back at the year we’ve had, and it’s in that practice that the words come to me. In 2023, the words Peace and Calm were louder than any other.  Peace is a predisposition and Calm is a disposition…they intertwine, but only by choice.

 

Peace and Calm

 

In reflecting on how my heart feels today and how it felt this time last year, the word Peace came to me like Jack does when he jumps out his box.  I took it as God was revealing to me something I didn’t think I would ever have, peace that Caleb died. It’s at that time I was reminded of the verse Philippians 4:8, “…and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”  As I move through my life after loss and process the defining moment that changed everything, finding peace in Caleb’s death has allowed my heart to rest.  Authentic peace could only come once I relinquished my control, which I’ve been working on for the last 4 years.  Looking back over how my heart processed grief and pain this year, it became clear to me that I allowed God in to guard my heart against distress, and my powerlessness over Caleb’s death.

 

 

It would come at no surprise to you that I live in constant fear that someone very close to me is going to die again.  I have to do grounding work several times a day to fight the battles that rage on inside my head.  Caleb died so suddenly and so unexpectedly that I’m always worried tragedy will strike again.  This will be a struggle I have for the remainder of my life, but I have noticed this past year that I have been able to remain more calm through those fears.  The fear itself is still there, but my reactions have softened.  I think this was only possible because I allowed peace to come in first, which then created calmness inside of me.

 

 

I often take stock of where my energies are going.  How much energy am I putting into healing, into my faith, my thoughts, my heart, my mind, my grief? In 2023, I put a lot of energy into reclaiming peace and calm in my heart and mind and I can feel the difference.

With open eyes and an anticipate heart, I am healing.  Peace and calm are more prevalent in my heart and mind, and I am grateful.  Do you have a Word of the Year? Leave a comment and tell me about it! 

Here are my previous words of the year:

https://ajourneyforcaleb.org/reflectionsfrommy2022word/

https://ajourneyforcaleb.org/2021wordoftheyear/